Let’s face it. Deployments suck no matter how you slice it, but they come with the Army lifestyle whether you’re Active Duty, Guard, or Reserves.  What I found during our first deployment was that a lot of our fellow Guard families struggled with this extended separation.  Before this, the longest had been maybe a few weeks when their soldier had been TDY for schooling or annual training (AT).  What makes this process so different for Guard families is the Army is not (usually) our lives 24/7/365.  Our families are used to having our soldiers home for dinner almost every night.  The kids are used to their soldier parent reading bedtime stories, playing catch with them in the back yard, being able to attend school functions, etc. on a regular basis.  We are not used to the Army suddenly calling to say, “It’s time to go.”

As a Guard family, we were an hour and a half from the nearest post, and we were three hours from my husband’s unit.  We had just relocated for my husband’s civilian job.  I very much felt like I was on my own.  Even though I had four years as an Army spouse, I felt like a total newbie. Here’s what helped me:

• A great babysitter.  I was so fortunate to have an absolutely awesome sitter who also happened to live next door.  She would even help me with light cleaning when I needed it.

• Other Army spouses.  Active duty, Reserves, Guard, it didn’t matter.  I was able to find fellow friends in the spouses of my husband’s colleagues and in online communities.

• Our Family Readiness Group (FRG) coordinator. She was fantastic.  She was a civilian worker who was working to get a unit FRG put together.  She, and those who worked with her, were awesome about keeping everyone in the loop as needed.  Not all FRGs are poorly run.  Give yours a try if you haven’t.

• Our neighbors.  One neighbor had someone from the VFW come mow our lawn a couple of times for me.  They always seemed to show up just when I needed it most.  Another neighbor brought us Christmas cookies.  Two others helped me shovel snow in the winter.  I can never thank these people enough for taking the time to help me.

• MilitaryOneSource.  This website has a wealth of information for all branches.

As Guard families, we often need to build our own support networks in the communities in which we live.  I really cannot say enough about the community we lived in at that time.  Everyone who knew us, and those we had direct contact with on a regular basis, really helped us through the deployment period. Everyone from immediate neighbors, to our family doctor, to the staff at my son’s preschool, to my husband’s colleagues and their families were really helpful.  We were so fortunate to live in an area that embraces those who serve.

*Note: Our deployment was 2004-2005.  There has been a lot of headway made in helping Guard families with the deployment process now, and there are more programs available for help.

Amanda Griffiths

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