As great as the National Guard life can be, like anything else, it has its pitfalls. One of them is being in a state of limbo. You’re not quite Army enough for active duty people or the DOD, and you’re not quite civilian enough for civilians. Your civilian friends and family want to understand when you need support, but honestly, they don’t really get it. They don’t understand what we go through when our soldiers are TDY or deployed. They don’t understand the bureaucracy of military life, that even in the Guard, sometimes wives are required to show up to functions and look pretty next to our husbands.

Our kids’ teachers don’t really understand that when our soldier is gone that there is more on our kids’ minds than just a missing parent. Depending on the age of your child, they may be more aware of the situation (especially in times of deployment), and this can cause the child to act out in ways they normally wouldn’t. It also means that the child may need to talk about things other children just don’t experience.  I have a nine year old. He’s got a fair understanding of what’s going on in Iraq and Afghanistan. Most kids his age are more worried about when soccer season or school starts, not if their parent will be on the nightly news.

Then we have our active duty counterparts. When doing joint exercises, if someone is late, logistics suck, or anything else goes wrong, the first thing someone says is, “it must have been the Guard guys.” Really? I’ve seen Guard units out perform those on active duty!  Most active duty people have no concept of what it’s like to be in the Guard. We get some of the Army benefits, but not all, even though our soldiers are often doing a lot of work for the Army. For example, active duty health care is full coverage. If you’re National Guard you buy, yes buy, Tricare through the Reserve Select program.  Your family members don’t get enrolled in the Exceptional Family Member Program if they have special needs. Nor do you have access to ECHO (extended care option). This is key if you have kids like mine who one is on the autism spectrum and the other is waiting to be tested. ECHO is what currently covers services for these kids. Our active duty counterparts also tend to have a hard time with the whole AGR concept. We’re active duty, but still part of the National Guard. Like everyone else, they can’t get past that not every job is one weekend a month, two weeks a year.

Maybe some day the bridge will be fully built and Guard soldiers and their families will be fully accepted into the military community.

Amanda Griffiths

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